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Thursday, 12 April 2012

Surprise

Since @cool_creep and @thatchiconpoint have refused to gimme my write-up as they promised, lets click on the keypads. I hope ideas come!!! I was almost certain my new post would be wasted subbing the jobless guy that couldn’t come up with an idea but go about dissing people's avatar on a blog site. The write-up was not normal and was so far from being funny so lemme look away.
With the new spate of robbery hitting Nigeria, I just had to share this with you guys. DO NOT PING, MENTION OR STALK ME on Facebook trying to find out who it happened to cos if I catch myself sey I answer you . Ehen, it is no more news that entering buses is pocket friendly, always readily available and well, it protects you from predators. It also saves you from telling the cab guy to open his boot for "inspection". I hate creepy things, those with guns, knives, rats, well I just hate creepy things. Seems I share phobias with this friend of mine cos if it is not a bike or a drop might just be one chance.
So this friend climbs into a bus by 11pm after the third cab man zoomed off after cursing him in plenty Yoruba. Well, he said he asked politely for him to open his boot so he can observe the activities taking place in that yonder. You keep something for my boot, abi you wan push me inside? Ole, kidnapper! Well, after experiencing scenes you only see in dettol adverts for close to 30 minutes for a drive that should have been to 5-7 minutes, my friend dropped. Still wondering why I keep saying my friend? YOYO!!! The trek down to the house was not funny from all indication, walking a lonely road almost tipsy, a few minutes to midnight can waste all the efforts of the evening. He finally, feeling fine, hits the switch, yezzir, PHCN are on top of their game! Then suddenly those wonderful torch lights, surely not sent from heaven to  help the no light situation.
Welcome oh! hope you had fun, oya oh we have been waiting for you. That your fried rice make too much brain. Ehen, no need to sit, start dey clear your pocket. Hope sey you no just bring change.
It is left for you to imagine the thoughts going through my friend’s mind.
No dey dull us nah, another voice echoed from his bedroom. After removing every bit of dough and metal on him (he does not know the difference between jewelry and metal).
Oga, wait, come pack your shirts for bag, them fine! Your television carton still dey abi? We go wan use am! I go dey pack the electronics, the clothes and other things wey you think sey we go like nah you go pack am!
Well, after about thirty minutes of packing, Oga, nah we get the vectra wey park outside ,you go help us carry our load outside. Hope sey we no dey disturb your sleep! SLEEP? YOU STOLE A BROTHER’S ECSTACY!
All these happened in Nigeria not Somalia and who born my friend wey hin no go arrange “their” load inside vectra boot and for all of you LASTMA peepz, YOYO na you’re on your own!